I've basically thrown the entirety of my spare time into incredibly unrealistic tv shows that I can stream over netflix. Because my life has become such an indescribable hell-hole that I am completely useless and antisocial the second I don't have any real work to do.

How is it that I'm 21, and I'm this incredibly angry, bitter person who doesn't feel much like there's a reason to be living except to be alive day in and day out? And I mean, right now it's all worth it and I keep plodding on because I have to and I need to but one of these days "just because" isn't going to be enough and I'm going to want a damn reason for all of the bullshit and the pain and the sadness and I have no idea who is still going to be standing there to give it to me.

Rant over for now, I guess. I have a lot of nothingness to get back to.